What they REALLY think about me!

One of my fellow French teachers, Monsieur C, has all of my former students in his classes. The other day he decided to write a quiz that was all about me and my dating life. There was nothing true in it, he just needed some kind of story for them to complete. Most of it was filling in object pronouns or single verbs, but there were a couple of spots to write full sentences. I was impressed with their willingness to completely burn both of us. The first blank started with, " If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H..." Here are a few samples, translated into English:

"If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H, he would need more money."



"If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H, he should be more handsome."


"If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H, he should change his clothes."



"If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H, he would kill himself."



"If Monsieur C wanted to go out with Mlle H, he wouldn't admit it."

The next blank just began with "If..." and they had to make up the entire last sentence of the story...

"If Mlle H doesn't find a man this year, she'll be alone for the rest of her life."



"If Mlle H wasn't a redhead, she would be married."



"If Mlle H kissed Monsieur C, he would become a frog."


"If Mlle H took a dance class, she would find her prince charming there."



"If she wants her prince, she has to behave better."


"If Mlle H was nicer, she would find the man of her dreams (it's not true)." He's saying it's not true that I need to be nicer, in case you were wondering. He's not implying that I will never find the man of my dreams, no matter how nice I am.

I will just take all those insults as a sign that they are comfortable with me and know I've got a good sense of humor. I'm sure it's not a sign of latent hostility or anything. No way! They love me. Right?